FEBRUARY 17, 2019

Grieving has got to be the worst stage of all stages. You tackle steps 1-infinity & then there's that freaking wall you didn't see coming. It says girl, you're in for some crap on it.


Loneliness doesn't even scratch the top of what it's like going through divorce AND realizing your whole marriage was a giant lie.


There are so many things to take for granted when you do have a spouse. Someone to share an inside joke with, (kind of) take care of you when you're sick, & get a hug from 8/10 when it's needed. Platonic hugs are fulfilling but not quite the same as ones from someone you've shared everything with & devoted your life to.


But, what if all of the above that I received as a wife wasn't actually given out of love? What if it was out of obligation to keep the wifey happy to maintain the status quo while deception was going on? Does it even matter at this point if I get an answer?


Why does the shittiest stage take the longest to get over? Am I somehow pushing away some deep feelings, hindering progress? What am I even grieving???


I'm talking in circles now & confusing even myself.


Do not do to your partners what I've had done to me. It is hell on earth.


Just be honest. It will get you so much farther.

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