FEBRUARY 22, 2019

I like my inner therapist, I really do. She lets me cry, cuss, ask her 500 questions in rapid succession, listens to my music, & is always on call. She does get me a little heated at times.... like when I ask her what do I do now? I know what this experience has taught me but what in the actual hell do I do now? What's my purpose? Girlfriend ghosts me every single time I ask these things. I think she's trying to tell me something.

I'm stuck. For a decade I forgot who I was. As the real Cake starts to come back, so does the flood of the girl I once was & her dreams. It gets overwhelming at times because a part of me still questions what is real & what I falsely believed about myself. Quite often I have to really think is this the Cake before she got smashed or after she got remade into an even better Cake?

Who is Cake now that she's in control of her own life? What can Cake offer?

I know for certain these things:

- I want my life to mean something; I want to leave an impression on those that come long after I am gone.

- I want this impression I leave to be because it changes someone's life; to guide someone towards the kind of life that's fulfilling & rewarding.

- I want to be fulfilled & happy while serving my purpose; I don't want to be in the rat race

- I won't settle

I think I may know my purpose but I am clueless on how to bring it to fruition. I don't even know where I belong in society.

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