Men: your wife & your girlfriend know. They just might not know exactly what it is that isn't quite right.
Don't worry, though. They'll find out sooner or later & when they do, you are in for some trouble, my friends.
It'd be wise to just tell them.
If you're not telling them because you don't think they have enough support/can't handle it, that's controlling & not your decision to make. The woman in your life is probably quite capable of deciding how much she can handle.
Trust her & start being honest.
*so mean, I apologize; so true, apology semi-redacted*