Today was the hardest you've had. You haven't seen him in 4 days & the kids are starting to ask questions. Exhausted is an understatement. You've been the sole caretaker of 2 tiny humans who are just like you: intuitive, sensitive, & inquisitive.
The "why's", "where's daddy", & "momma, are you happy" have led to many forced smiles through the tears.
Your bag of cover-ups for him has run dry & not being *as honest as possible* teaches your children nothing.
Look at you, Cake; beautiful, intelligent, kind, nurturing, & so many other really awesome things. It's about time you stood up for yourself.
I know you're scared right now that you'll end up an old lady with 37 cats because who is going to ever want a girl as broken as you? Keep pushing that fear aside; It's what has kept you from following that intuition. Your intuition tells you that you're gonna be just fine when it comes to love.
Stay strong & proud like you're teaching your babies. Time heals all wounds.