OCTOBER 25, 2018

    Dear husband,


    There is one thing I cannot make sense of; how it was so easy for you to abstain & continue abstaining from PMO, while your only support has been some random therapist you see 1x a week. If you're not abstaining, well, read anyways.


    Professor of neuroscience & psychologist Jim Pfaus said the following regarding sex/porn addiction not being a real thing:


    Here’s why: addicts withdraw. When you lock a dope fiend in a room without any dope, the lack of drugs will cause an immediate physiological response — some of which is visible, some of which we can only track from within the body. During withdrawal, the brains of addicts create junctions between nerve cells containing the neurotransmitter GABA. This process more or less inhibits the brain systems usually excited by drug-related cues — something we never see in the brains of so-called sex and porn addicts. A sex addict without sex is much more like a teenager without their smartphone.


    What else could be true of your behaviors & ease of abstinance if sex addiction isn't a clinical disorder? Is being "out of control" an all-embracing symptom of addiction? Do brain science & neuroscience relate to sexual science?


    Sex addiction & the sex addiction recovery model can be defined as the compulsive participation or engagement in sexual activity, despite negative consequences. If this true, what negative consequences could you possibly have been consciously aware of in your "binges"?


    Why can I not stop thinking there's something off here? Is it possible we're wasting all of this $ & time on an unrecognized addiction?


    So, here I am. Back at square 1...except this time I'm a little more prepared thanks to really amazing humans.


    I can't do forks in the road right now, so what do I do; I make forks in the road. Why do I have to be a "why" person?


    Why?


    Cake