on standing up for myself.

I woke up this morning to these barrages of public tweets sent from my ex-husband/perpetrator’s live-in girlfriend who publicly identified herself as Stephanie (so I have no fear saying her name), spastic and all over the place. I was a bit confused at first because not once, in almost three years of publicly speaking on the crimes committed against me, the abuse I endure(d), and the hell I’ve paid since leaving, have I ever, EVER, publicly given any information that would lead anyone to figuring out who my ex/perpetrator is, nor any identifying information about all of the flying monkey’s over the years sent after me to do his dirty work.

*flying monkeys*: another way of saying ‘abuse by proxy’ or having someone else do the bidding of (an anti-social personality disordered person). The term flying monkey was coined after the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz that were under the spell of the Wicked Witch of the East, to do her bidding against Dorothy and her friends.

Holy insecurity was my first thought after reading her tweets to me, followed by anger – I AM NOT 41! (what a weird thing to be angry about, amirite?), ultimately ending up in a place of feeling dual pity for her and legit fear for me (and my children’s) well-being, a fear that has been building for some time.

The story starts over a decade ago when I met my ex, who lived with his best friend in the home my ex had purchased a year or two prior. This best friend had a girlfriend and when I came into the picture, the four of us spent a good portion of our 20’s together, eventually marrying our respective significant others and beginning our families. We were close, as couples – them coming to the hospital after I had my twins, me taking Stephanie’s birthing and maternity photos for their second child, birthdays, Sunday night football games, and random weekends spent together with both families and children.

The summer of 2018, when I found the hidden tablet my ex/perpetrator was using to secretly record me nude in the bath/shower, I turned to Stephanie and her husband (my ex’s best friend) for help. I could tell the husband was distraught and didn’t know what to do/believe, but Stephanie took a different approach. Her response was to shame me and guilt me – I have texts from her after I tell her I’m being abused and was going to divorce my ex saying, “but you’ll wake up and he won’t be there to kiss you or hug you”.

I was in the throws of being traumatized psychologically, spiritually, physically, financially, desperate for help, and the help she offers is to tell me I’ll miss his kisses and hugs? She made sure to invite the kids and I to one last birthday party of her child’s (birthday gifts > compassion) a month after I filed, and that was the last day her and I have had any conversation whatsoever and I was completely okay with this – nothing positive was coming from the “friendship”, I cut my losses.

That next month, quite literally hours before my first hearing for the divorce, I found another video my ex/perpetrator had taken of me, inconspicuously labeled “test” on the laptop. By now, I’d found/discovered at least half a dozen hidden videos of me, the first one beginning only 4 months after marriage. The video I found the morning of my hearing is what I ended up pressing charges on.

The charges, so bad, my ex/perpetrator had a laundry list of conditions to abide by – I was protected, my children were protected, the charges passing a Texas Grand Jury & him being officially charged with a Texas State Jail Felony for what he did to me. Unfortunately, as I’ve spoken on before, the prosecutor made a fatal error and took the case to grand jury 3 weeks past the statute of limitations, bringing the case to a halt and leaving my children and I with zero protection.

That summer, the summer my ex/perpetrator was having to wear a GPS monitor and report to a probation officer because of the horrific crime he did to me, he was also fucking his best friend’s wife while the best friend was working two jobs trying to provide for Stephanie and their children.

It was mid-December, 2020, a week after mediation for my divorce, that I picked my children up from the weekend at their father’s, and they told me they met Stephanie and her kids with their daddy at a trampoline park.

Weird, I thought to myself, maybe (redacted) is working so she brought the kids to get together and play.

Next visitation with my children’s father and I pick them up, same thing – they’d met Stephanie and her children at some place, without Stephanie’s husband and father of the kids. By this point, my what the fek radar is going off so I gather the courage to call my ex/perpetrator’s best friend, husband to Stephanie, someone who ditched me, the victim, for the victimizer (couldn’t blame him, I fell for the lies, too). He answers and is the kind man I remembered but sounded very hurt, angry. He tells me he caught Stephanie at my ex’s house late October/early November 2020 after becoming suspicious and subsequently filed for divorce.

I know. Take a breather or a shot. It’s a lot.

So I’m sitting there with the husband of Stephanie on the phone, in absolute shock. Last thing I’d ever expect but then I start thinking back on our “friendship” – there was always something “off”, her mimicking me – I get married, she forces an engagement and marriage follows 5 months after mine. I get pregnant, she follows 4 months after me.

This desire of hers to overtake my life, become me, hasn’t stopped. It’s only ramped up since her and my ex/perpetrator have officially become a couple, co-habitating in some disillusioned utopian Brady Bunch twilight zone.

I’ve spent thousands of dollars on attorneys regarding Stephanie and her overstepping of boundaries (documentation, I’ll include). I have spent time and energy un-fucking my children because of her antics and desire to usurp my role as their mother. I have had to endure over a year of her taunting me as I pick up the children from my abuser’s home (thx family court). I have had to endure over a year of her taunting me by getting out of the vehicle at my home when the kids are picked up by my ex, waving at me, squawking like a chicken to my children “ byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyys”, even waving and saying bye to me, by name, not caring about them but wanting to hurt me.

And so,

Stephanie, or takestwototang3 as you go by on Twitter,

Let’s talk bitterness, insecurity, jealousy, BOUNDARIES.

You see, YoU’rE BiTtEr is a tool used by abusers to invalidate a victim, like chopping down a tree – oh, that tree, that tree is just bitter it got chopped down. However, I don’t expect you to understand this analogy, so I’ll break it down more.

What you project on to me, and see as bitterness, is absolute justified rage and anger at what was and is being done to me. Anger IS the appropriate reaction to injustice. You, nor anyone else will use this tactic to bully me into silence, because that’s what you’re trying to do.

Further, the utter lack of self-awareness in you is astounding. To be on some high horse calling me all sorts of vulgar names, things that my children will one day see, while fucking your husband’s best friend is a bit much, yeah? Pot calling kettle black type of thing, my dear, and you should really recalibrate that internal moral compass of yours because it is broken.

I’m pretty bored with this and starving, so I’m going to wrap it up by saying

Stephanie, I am publicly asking you to stop harassing me in real life and online, else, I will seek help from law enforcement.

There will be no more getting out on my property, no rolling down your window recording me, no waving at me, no nothing.

You will never replace me as my children’s mother, as hard as you try. Our bond will never break and they’re already starting to see through you as I do.

Always remember, they will be able to read everything, eventually. Your batshit slanderous tweets to me last night, the other batshit ramblings you have sent me posing as my ex, all of it, and my graceful responses.

And so, just stop. You’re scaring the kids and me.


*just some of the shit they've put me and the children through

*updated right after I finished this... I get these messages from one of them. absolute heinous abuse.