To: Shannon [redacted], aka lovemylife81

Cc: the bystanders

 

When I found the tablet my ex-husband had hidden in our bathroom to secretly record me nude, not only did I find videos of me on there, I also saw that he had been logging into it via a spy app and watching me nightly, every day, for at least a month. Realizing that my basic human rights to privacy had been violated was horrific enough; Realizing that I had been watched every single day unknowingly added to that trauma and created a schism so deep in me I now have brain damage that I cannot heal from. All of this, compounded by any other type of abuse you can imagine and devastating betrayal from systems who were supposed to protect me, has left me often living in fear and hypervigilance, rarely at peace and feeling safe – a life no human being should have to live.

 

I do try to live, though, and I try to do so with integrity, grace, humility, and an understanding of the human condition. I try to live with courage, hope, and honesty - speaking publicly about my experiences – both the times I fail and the times I rise - creating art and words that have connected with many others, helping them to not feel alone in their own struggles & giving them inspiration. Most importantly, I try to live in a way that does not mimic those who have abused me, who have betrayed me, who have caused me pain. I believe fiercely in my moral compass, I fear God, and I refuse to let darkness take over my soul – all of it reflecting in my character.

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 The abuse I endured from my ex was so covert, it took me leaving and reflecting to really see and understand what was happening to me. It is a type of abuse preferred (maybe instilled) by females – a non-physical way to have power and control – the method “Queen Bees” and some flavors of anti-social personality disordered people use to terrorize their victims. There’s gossip they spread, passive-aggressive tactics, playing victim, & many other insidious methods used to create confusion, cause isolation, and sabotage another person’s life.

 

And it works.

(Except for when you’ve had it done to you and can spot it happening, so you decide to stick up for yourself because never again)

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It was almost 2 years ago that I received a random dm from you on Twitter, inquiring about my mental well-being, asking if I was OK. I’m not sure what led you to do this, but I politely told you I was ok and thanked you for asking. You continued to try to probe into my life, in which I responded with honest, but short answers, cautious of giving too much information as I had no idea who you were. But, even in my short answers, probably not giving you the information you sought, I was kind and always thanked you for asking about me.

 

It was a couple of weeks after this, that I found myself not only blocked by you, but mocking me publicly to all your followers. Then I learned of your gatekeeping, intentionally spreading rumors about me and keeping others from potential collaborations and chances at career opportunities for me. Hell, maybe even friendships I could’ve formed, you were hellbent on stopping.

 

For 2 years now, you have done the very things my abusive ex did to me, the things I escaped from and swore to myself I would never take from another human being again – passive-aggressively mocking me/subtweeting me, stalking me, watching me, copying me.

 

For 2 years I have asked you multiple times publicly why you were doing this to me, to tell me what I’d done to deserve it so that I could correct it… I have gone privately to friends of yours and asked that they get it to stop, explaining I’d never done a thing to you – all my pleas met with silence from you and your friends, while I continue to sit and watch the abuse continue.

 

For 2 years now, your pathological envy and insecurities have caused you to behave in malicious ways with the intent of trying to corrode my confidence, cause me anxiety and fear, confuse, distort me, make me disappear, and destroy my well-being in all ways.

 

For 2 years, I have taken the high road, tried to get this to stop in all of the correct ways, tried to show grace… and for the most part, I do pity you, I feel sorry for a grown woman who feels the need to not only behave this way in the first place, but to target her same gender because she is deeply wounded. But I do not have to take the abuse you continue to inflict on me, and I won’t. My human rights have already been violated and I will not allow you to do the same. I have the right to happiness, to feel safe, to be treated like a human being, to be free.

 

This latest harassment of yours has crossed the line. Had I not been asking you for quite some time now to leave me alone and have you blocked, I don’t feel I’d be able to write this or be as concerned as I am about your behavior. But I have told you to leave me alone, and I have blocked you from being able to view what I say. Yet, you continueto watch me and harass me, anyway. You messed up, though, clearly mocking me almost word-for-word, merely hours after I tweet something, proving everything I've ever claimed about you - that you are stalking me and what once was annoying has now become alarming.

 

That you think it is ok to stalk, harass, & taunt anyone, especially me, and that you probably believe what you are doing is commendable, harmless, and deserved because you have no shame & have fooled others into believing you're the good guy here and/or scared them into sticking up for you, resulting in zero accountability, leads me to believe that you are either psychologically unwell or just a severely limited coward who enjoys causing/inflicting pain and fear in others. Further, you are blatantly doing the very thing you disparage others for, obviously projecting all of your insecurities at me, performing mental gymnastics that must be exhausting. And the reality is, it doesn’t really matter if you're psychologically unwell or just a jealous woman because your behavior has become dangerous. You feel like you have a right to do this to me, lacking total empathy for another human being, and becoming obsessed in the process…

 

A self-righteous predator with an agenda is what you are at the end of the day, and your inappropriate and inhumane behavior towards me (and others) stops. This is the last time I will tell you to leave me alone or further action will be taken. You know nothing of being selfless.

 

Cake